First Step to Help--Learn About Homeless Families

Everywhere I go, after watching our powerful documentary, My Own Four Walls, most people want to know how to help. My suggestion may seem overly simplistic, but it's critical: Learn about homeless families/youth.

How many of us carry our own prejudices? My hand is up. Even today, when I see an obese person, my family's old tapes play--the kind that make cruel remarks about people being fat. My more enlightened (and slightly chunky) self knows people have many reasons for their obesity. Some may be within their power to address, some far beyond it, and most land somewhere in the middle. Even that's an overly simplistic description. 

 

Our country suffers no shortage of issues, valid and distorted, with family and youth homelessness continuing to get the short edge of the stick in media coverage and resources. Poverty and economic hardship are spreading like kudzu (a southern thing, look it up!). The estimated 3 million households predicted to lose their abodes this year will join over 2.5 million from last year. Poverty rates soar as the economy swoons. It's ugly, and it's everywhere.

Families and individuals swirl in the brutal vortex of survival. Nowadays it's far easier to become homeless and much harder to escape this shackled existence. Although solid data doesn't exist, estimates of homeless families and teens shoot upward to 10 million when you count those who lost housing due to hardship who now bounce between family, friends, acquaintances, and no-tell motels.

When I ran a shelter, which I did in Aurora at Hesed House for 13 years and before that in Joliet, I'd never describe the process as "pretty," or even humane. We tried to be hospitable and kind. But reality, and our prejudices, often interfered; and children, teens, women and men ripped raw by their experience of serious trauma often were inadvertently grossly neglected. I'd suspect that is true in just about every shelter. 

For the past 5 years I've traveled 90,000 miles on the backroads of this great nation, living in a modest RV that I've dubbed "Tillie."  I've filmed interviews with some amazing people--courageous children, teens and women who shared what it was like to experience homelessness. "My Own Four Walls" was my first documentary--I filmed it and Northern Illinois University's Professor Laura Vazquez and her talented students worked with me to produce it. Thousands have seen, and have been deeply touched by this 20-minute film.

Four years ago, Laura  invited me to work with her on an ambitious documentary about families' experience of homelessness. With the blessing of HEAR US, my nonprofit organization's board of directors, and generous support from a plethora of supporters I accepted the challenging invitation.

It's been an incredible process, touching me at my core. Seven women ripped off the shrouds of secrecy common to those embarrassed about their stumbles into homelessness. They shared intimate details. They described, comprehensively and painfully, their nomadic lives. They erased stereotypes--the kind swirling about "welfare moms," women who bear "too many" children, drug and alcohol abusers, foster care, domestic violence, the agony of not being able to provide for their families, and the fear of life on the edge, with its ever-present danger of returning to homelessness.

All of that and more is contained in our new documentary, "on the edge."  It's a tough film to watch, but it's the best place to start if you really want to understand the far reaching devastation of homelessness that touches millions in our wealth-distorted nation.

On Wednesday, April 21st, we're holding a preview screening of "on the edge" in Aurora (Annunciation Parish gym, 1840 Church Road, 7:00 p.m.) in conjunction with Mutual Ground. We're asking for free will donations so the economy won't be a barrier.

For my part, I hope families and kids I knew at Hesed House will come. I want to listen to them, to see if this film validates their experiences. I want to offer my apologies for not hearing what they were saying, and for inadequately helping them cope with their traumas. And I want to hear what they have to say.

We all have a lot to learn. Then we need to act upon it. This is my humble effort. Please join me, if you dare.

x

So Glad Obama is Staying Home!

Here I thought my trip to the DC area would be somewhat limited in effectiveness, but I just read that President Obama is sticking around, foregoing his Asian trip, because I'm going to be in the area! Well, that, and perhaps the health care saga....

I hope our time together will include time to watch a movie. I have the perfect one, "on the edge," our latest feature-length documentary about women, and their families -- riveting accounts of their homelessness. Homeless families and teens is not an issue getting much attention by our nation's leaders.

Nothing would make me happier than to sit down with Barack and Michelle, maybe Shaun (HUD), Kathleen (HHS), and ideally House and Senate leadership, and let them hear from 7 courageous women who shared the brutal realities of their homelessness experiences. 

Audiences that have seen our rough cut of this unique film agree--the women tell their stories like no policywonks could. They point to the causes, effects, and danger of return in such a compelling manner that even so-called conservatives call for a huge paradigm shift in how our country approaches this issue. We have much room for improvement.

And, I'd like to point out, it's not just about housing, but that's an essential ingredient. Families, teens, and adults that have experienced homelessness likely have some trauma issues--hurdles to success and independence--much like PTSD. When effects of trauma arise, it can sabotage best efforts to move in the right direction. The on the edge "7" explain this in ways a 6th grader can understand.

Seems to me it's time to sit down in comfy chairs, pop in this DVD and listen. If not, countless kids and adults will be the worse for it. And we only have ourselves to blame. Just make sure someone besides me will work the remote control. That's one thing I'm not too good at!  

Help Wanted: Powerful Lobbyists Needed

I know I'm getting desperate when I start thinking about hiring powerful lobbyists to help homeless children and youth. I'm just lacking a few hundred thou to pay them. And I'm a little short on cash for campaign donations too.

Not that the current intrepid team of homeless children advocates isn't working tremendously hard, but they just don't have the clout to turn this country's "Titanic-like" approach to homelessness around in time to save the kids, including a horrendous number of babies and toddlers, who are getting brutalized by homelessness and poverty. Yes, this current administration is a tad bit better when it comes to at least acknowledging this issue, but they're too busy on other efforts. In the meantime, homeless kids slip through Grand Canyon-sized cracks in our all but shredded safety network.

What motivates me? I've talked to so many amazing kids and parents on my journeys across this country. I carry their faces with me, hearing their voices pleading for help, wanting a chance to succeed.

Picture a big mob scene, with determined, passionate, desperate people crowded together. Then put a bunch of little kids into the mix. When the crowd panics and scatters, the kids get crushed. That's sort of what's happening.

In true DC fashion, I've seen a turn-around, with former "anti-homeless kids" advocacy organizations now proclaiming the urgent need to do something about this tragic issue. Yes, more money is being allocated to homelessness, but it's way too little, way too late, and way too slow getting disbursed. Everywhere I go I hear about the HPRP (Homelessness Prevention Rapid Re-housing) funds that are not beginning to make a dent, or the frustrations of a weak distribution network that makes it hard to get the money on the streets in a timely manner.

Tillie, my turtle-like RV, and I will be heading to DC next week. We're going to screen our new documentary on homeless families, "on the edge," with a few select audiences. And I'll sit down with key legislators to talk about the need to pass an even stronger, better funded, homeless education bill. 

You can join the "fun" by signing our petition to asking for increased funding for homeless students' education. Rest assured that this issue gets almost no attention by beleaguered lawmakers for reasons we can all figure out. That's where you come in. Sign and share this simple petition--the current way to communicate with elected officials. (WE WANT 1,000 SIGNATURES. We have almost 200. LET'S GET GOING!!!)

Seems to me that it's far too easy to dismiss the lobbyist-less homeless kids and families that need attention. I guess that's why I feel the need to go to tell lawmakers that homeless kids count, and their count is soaring. I'd love to have you with me, with your petitions paving the way like a plow on a muddy field.

Fiddle Dee Dumb!

I don't remember much of the ancient history I was exposed to in high school, but I do remember something about politicians fiddling while Rome burned.... No road map needed to see where I'm going with this one....

Amazed that where I'm parked--in the deep woods outside Pensacola--that I got a signal at all, much less one that streamed video, I watched quite a bit of the health care summit today.  I shook my head in befuddlement. Sure, a few bright spots emerged, and I was impressed with Obama's ability to try to diplomatically but firmly herd cats, but my worries on behalf of our country, specifically about how homeless families and teens will fare under the 111th Congress, well, they grew.

I've been posting news stories about homelessness from across the nation on the HEAR US "Homelessness in the News" page. I know it's hard to keep track of these issues, and I figure it's a service HEAR US can do, knowing students, educators, interested individuals, etc., are always wanting information.

I also monitor the Change.org homelessness blog, in addition to writing a weekly post for their Poverty in America section. This morning I almost choked on my yogurt as I read the Homelessness blog and saw the expressed concern from the National Alliance to end Homelessness about the growing number of homeless families staying in motels.

Not long ago, NAEH was instrumental in brutally obstructing and killing a bill that would have increased the definition of homelessness to actually include families doubled-up with others or staying in motels. They weren't really homeless, or so they said. I even made a 3-minute video, "So They Say" to depict this issue. 

Now this national advocacy group has become enlightened. I suppose it's because the new HUD leadership and the new president have shifted direction. That's good. I wonder about their dedication to an issue that didn't seem worthy just a few short months ago. It's about the children, the teens, the families in turmoil...like the family living in a tent for 6 months that I met in blustery Oregon (in pix).

If you'd like to do something to help--HEAR US has a petition to urge the Senate to strengthen laws to make sure homeless kids can get an education. Sign it and share it, and do whatever else you can for the skyrocketing numbers of invisible homeless kids in our country.

Seems to me that Congress would get a lot more done if politics (money) didn't interfere. Lobbyists and special interest groups that likely have something to gain from massaging the issues contribute to a heap of suffering in this country. Which brings me back to that ancient, ancient history lesson....

USA--A Nation in Love with Homelessness?

I dunno...as I peruse news about homelessness from across the land some things jump out at me. We seem to grasp symbolic solutions, like donating jeans for teens, a good deed as far as it goes, but I wonder if it becomes a band-aid that covers a larger wound? 

In my quarter century of working with homeless persons, coming at it from a non-social work perspective, I've been dismayed at our nation's ability to bandage problems instead of address root causes. Homelessness is a perfect example. We just "love" to do charity, volunteering to make brownies for the homeless shelter, but when asked to contact Congress to urge passage of legislation to ease a greater need--e.g. helping homeless kids get an education--well, we scoot off to take the brownies out of the oven.

Now, as a former shelter director, I was always happy for brownies, chocolate chip cookies, and the volunteers to staff our shelter. Unfortunately we need such temporary solutions because we as a nation seem stuck in the mud when it comes to addressing homelessness and poverty issues.

One area of blatant unjust "patience" that seems intractable is child support payments. I blogged about this issue a few months ago on my Poverty in America blog, generating what for me was a firestorm of responses, from women and men.  Last night, visiting with my friend Angela in Opelousas, LA, we were talking about our latest documentary, "It's All About the Children" (working title), and how a common theme among homeless mothers was the lack of support from fathers of the children.

"Oh yeah, let me show you something," exclaimed Angela, a spunky mother of 9 whose poignant story unfolds in our film. She reached over to her computer, clicked a few times, and showed me her ex-husband's child support (lack of) payment record. Although I was impressed with Louisiana's technology, I was far less impressed with the state's ability to get the father to pay. 

Seems to me that our nation suffers from attention deficit disorder. We tend to lose sight of important issues, vigorously substituting frivolity, like making sure homeless teens have jeans or developing fancy technology that tells us what we know. You can prove me wrong-- petition your Senators to increase essential resources for homeless students' education. Share this blog with your network. It's a small act, like a snowflake. But as this snow-battered country should know, a bunch of snowflakes make a huge impact. Time for a blizzard....

The Ugly Reality...Homelessness Never Far Away

One of the most difficult things I can imagine for the people I've known who experienced homelessness, especially families, is when they face returning to it. And this week I found out about a family that did.

Charlie, our HEAR US "poster child," the cute boy whose image was captured by photojournalist Pat Van Doren, a longtime friend and conspirator, and his mother, "Cookie," recently lost their home, for reasons that I'll keep private, but not unlike reasons of other vulnerable people. 20-year-old Charlie had been working, but got laid off and is now just trying to make ends meet by temp work, staying with a friend. His mom is staying with people she knows.

In our latest documentary, "It's All About the Children," each of the 7 women expresses some form of "I'd never want to be homeless again." It reminds me of Scarlett's quote from Gone With the Wind,

As God is my witness, as God is my witness they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again. No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again.  

I certainly don't mean to imply that Cookie or Charlie would ever "lie, steal, cheat or kill," but I could understand the sentiment. 

When I visited them in summer 2008 I was touched by Cookie's pride in showing me her blue glass collection. She beamed as she spoke about her "clowning" as Cookie the Clown, brightening kids and old folks' days with her routine. Charlie was finishing courses for his high school diploma and was working had his sights on getting in at Caterpillar, a great paying job.

Formerly homeless families face repeat bouts for any number of reasons. It's easy to slide down the slippery slope. It's much harder to get back up, and the thought of being homeless hangs like a dark cloud over your shoulder, even for those far removed, as this family was. Stigma, lack of resources, feelings of failure--all contribute to the trauma of the return trip.

Today as I drove across Texas' backroads, I saw lots of roadkill, including a wild boar. It got me to thinking about people in poverty--they are the roadkill on the Capitalism superhighway. 

Seems to me our way of dealing with poverty and homelessness needs drastic changes. It's bad enough to experience homelessness once, but you should be granted a "get out of jail (homelessness) free" card if facing it again, sort of like we gave those rich bankers and Wall Street scoundrels. 

Home Sweet Home, but Really...

For reasons far beyond my understanding, my path crosses with some very interesting people. I'm in Las Cruces, NM now, having shown our new documentary, "It's All About the Children," to one of the women in it and to a small group of educators. I'm also filming interviews with "non-homeless" homeless families/youth, those staying in motels or doubled up with others for the HEAR US Learning Curve Express project.

One of the outreach team put me in contact with a young mother with 5 little boys under the age of 7 staying in a local motel. Tina was more than willing and able to talk about her predicament.So I went to interview her imagining what a motel room with 5 young boys would be like.

This young mom with "deer-in-the-headlights" eyes and a soft voice let me in. As we introduced ourselves I saw 2 of her 5 asleep on the double beds. The other 3 were with her mother. She assured me the little guys would sleep through more noise than we'd make, so I set up and began the interview.

Domestic violence, no stranger to any income bracket, ethnicity, religion, education level, or part of the country, was the initial cause of homelessness. Last weekend she got tossed from the DV shelter, for reasons not relevant to this discussion. Tina's mother had packed up her life and moved here to be a support for her daughter. Something tells me she has some firsthand knowledge of these too-common struggles.

When Tina and the boys were ousted from the shelter, they had nowhere to go. Tina's mom was living in a 13' travel trailer, a humble abode if I ever saw one. So she bought another cheap one for herself and let Tina and the kids stay in the tiny one. All chilly weekend, no electricity or water. Propane-powered oven (DANGEROUS) providing some warmth, augmented by body heat. Someone from the school got wind of it, and the school put them in a motel for3 nights until a better plan materialized.

Friday noon was checkout time, and things got pretty dicey. Help for this family was slow to develop. Eventually donors came up with enough money to put the little trailer on a RV pad, with electric, water and sewer. Her mom lives nearby in the same park, close enough to help out with childcare, transportation and moral support. 

When faced with sleeping on the streets with her children, Tina scrounged for help. I verified, it was not available. The stimulus money for Rapid Rehousing--she was #90 on the list, a wait of between 3-9 months. The only other place was the mission, and I understand a shelter-shy Tina, especially because the mission, with mostly men, has had its share of troubles, including a murder of one woman resident by another last year.


Tina has plans to finish her GED, and get further training to get a good job. I don't want to discourage her. But according to the National Low Income Housing Coalition, to afford fair market rent for a 3-bedroom apartment in Las Cruces she'll need an income of $30k+. 

Now, I know that's the theory, and the reality is different, and she'll probably be able to find something cheaper. But with the economy, the job market, the lack of child care, and what is likely her need for counseling, that's a pretty steep mountain to climb with 5 pairs of hands holding onto you. 

Seems to me a woman who tumbles from a horrible violent marriage should have it better than landing in a pile of rubble that makes her think going back to her abuser is a better option. She and the kids deserve a helping hand. I'm not begrudging the outpouring of compassion the long-suffering people of Haiti are receiving. I just think that ignoring the growing number of poor families in this country might be a disaster too big for us to dig out from under.