Home Sweet Home, but Really...

For reasons far beyond my understanding, my path crosses with some very interesting people. I'm in Las Cruces, NM now, having shown our new documentary, "It's All About the Children," to one of the women in it and to a small group of educators. I'm also filming interviews with "non-homeless" homeless families/youth, those staying in motels or doubled up with others for the HEAR US Learning Curve Express project.

One of the outreach team put me in contact with a young mother with 5 little boys under the age of 7 staying in a local motel. Tina was more than willing and able to talk about her predicament.So I went to interview her imagining what a motel room with 5 young boys would be like.

This young mom with "deer-in-the-headlights" eyes and a soft voice let me in. As we introduced ourselves I saw 2 of her 5 asleep on the double beds. The other 3 were with her mother. She assured me the little guys would sleep through more noise than we'd make, so I set up and began the interview.

Domestic violence, no stranger to any income bracket, ethnicity, religion, education level, or part of the country, was the initial cause of homelessness. Last weekend she got tossed from the DV shelter, for reasons not relevant to this discussion. Tina's mother had packed up her life and moved here to be a support for her daughter. Something tells me she has some firsthand knowledge of these too-common struggles.

When Tina and the boys were ousted from the shelter, they had nowhere to go. Tina's mom was living in a 13' travel trailer, a humble abode if I ever saw one. So she bought another cheap one for herself and let Tina and the kids stay in the tiny one. All chilly weekend, no electricity or water. Propane-powered oven (DANGEROUS) providing some warmth, augmented by body heat. Someone from the school got wind of it, and the school put them in a motel for3 nights until a better plan materialized.

Friday noon was checkout time, and things got pretty dicey. Help for this family was slow to develop. Eventually donors came up with enough money to put the little trailer on a RV pad, with electric, water and sewer. Her mom lives nearby in the same park, close enough to help out with childcare, transportation and moral support. 

When faced with sleeping on the streets with her children, Tina scrounged for help. I verified, it was not available. The stimulus money for Rapid Rehousing--she was #90 on the list, a wait of between 3-9 months. The only other place was the mission, and I understand a shelter-shy Tina, especially because the mission, with mostly men, has had its share of troubles, including a murder of one woman resident by another last year.


Tina has plans to finish her GED, and get further training to get a good job. I don't want to discourage her. But according to the National Low Income Housing Coalition, to afford fair market rent for a 3-bedroom apartment in Las Cruces she'll need an income of $30k+. 

Now, I know that's the theory, and the reality is different, and she'll probably be able to find something cheaper. But with the economy, the job market, the lack of child care, and what is likely her need for counseling, that's a pretty steep mountain to climb with 5 pairs of hands holding onto you. 

Seems to me a woman who tumbles from a horrible violent marriage should have it better than landing in a pile of rubble that makes her think going back to her abuser is a better option. She and the kids deserve a helping hand. I'm not begrudging the outpouring of compassion the long-suffering people of Haiti are receiving. I just think that ignoring the growing number of poor families in this country might be a disaster too big for us to dig out from under.  

Learning Disability in Congress

I took this pix of Congressman Foster (guy with the suit) who recently met with constituents who stood in line on a Saturday morning in a freezing cold grocery store's bakery department. Despite the discomfort, it was worth it because he admitted to me that he "blew" the issue of the definition of homelessness.

I'm back. A week's vacation, tech issues and an unplanned week dealing with a family emergency knocked me out of the box for the past month. Hope I was missed! For those who can't get enough of my insights, I'm still doing a weekly piece for Change.org's Poverty in America blog.

A while back I decided to take advantage of a Google feature that lets me be notified once a day of stories and blogs on the topics of my choice. My keywords: homeless children, homeless teens, homeless students.

I rightly figured that those 3 would keep me busy. Since doing that, I've been astounded about the fairly significant news coverage of these issues. No reports of a dearth of homeless kids, quite the opposite, to no surprise. Some stories report gallant efforts, some tragic happenings. Accounts filter in from across the nation, from places I know and those I've never heard of, despite 4 years on our country's backroads.

I've found myself pondering one question: With what seems to be common knowledge of the existence and plight of America's homeless kids, why is the learning curve so steep for Congress?

I just left for my vacation when Congress passed and President Obama signed the reauthorization of the McKinney-Vento Homeless Assistance Act, the piece that governs HUD's homelessness efforts. While some improvements have been made, I was glad I was out of town and without phone/internet access.

The key issues some of us were hoping for did not pass, despite a herculean effort. Instead, a much-flawed version is set to become law, fortunately for just 2 years instead of the customary 5 year period.

A good story about a house-less family in a no-tell motel in affluent DuPage County (IL) ran this week on Chicago's Fox TV. Mark Saxenmeyer, the reporter, put together a compelling piece that included a poster-child family (mom, dad and 2 boys) who have spent a year in a motel. Chicago Coalition for the Homeless rep and my friend, Rene Heybach, did a superb job emphasizing the issues.

Seems to me steep learning curves need special vehicles. HEAR US plans to be that vehicle. Soon I will announce the game plan. But in the meantime, I'll be glued to my computer, reading about the problem some in Congress think we don't have--kids living without homes in our great nation.

"No Tell" Motels Finally Blab

About 10 years ago, I wrote and produced a report entitled "No-Tell Motels" or something like that. Our coalition tried to tell anyone who would listen that desperate homeless families were turning to motels in lieu of homeless shelters, often because no shelters were available.

That was then, and this is now... 2 well-respected national organizations, the National Association for the Education of Homeless Children and Youth (NAEHCY) and First Focus, examined how families and teens are falling into the deep hole of homelessness. They included the issue of non-vacation motel use, aka 21st century homeless shelters, in their recent report, "The Economic Crisis Hits Home: the Unfolding Increase in Family & Youth Homelessness." To no surprise in these blistering economic times, homeless families turn to motels in droves.

First, to the nay-sayers:

1. Many communities either don't have shelters or shelters are not accessible to families (typically because the shattered family would have to split up. Many shelters don't allow older boys to stay with their families. Some have rules which prohibit parents from working later hours. Or some are plum full.)
2. After losing their home (eviction, foreclosure, etc.) the family may have SOME money, not much, but they also have tarnished credit, a no-no for many landlords. Motels allow paying daily or weekly, not cost effective, but easier to come up with than first/last month's rent, security deposit and utilities' deposits. But it traps the family, sucking up their money, not allowing them to save.
   
3. It's not a "vacation" to stay for any length of time in a crowded motel room with no privacy or adequate space for stuff. Try cooking for a family on a hot plate for a good challenge....
4. It's not fun, nor is it stable, with families typically patching together motels, friends' houses, cars, and "camping" for their nighttime abode. It's a logistical nightmare for all involved.
   

This conundrum--the explosive growth in family/youth homelessness--is bad for everyone: kids, parents, schools, communities. For too long it has been ignored, hoping it will go away. The Hits Home report, giving a solid glimpse at conditions throughout the country, also offers a solid action plan.

Seems to me that it's just one more thing to pile on the Obama plate, teeming with vittles left by W and predecessors. For those who think it can wait, imagine the 1.5 million+ homeless kids growing up to be homeless adults.The motel pix (above), one I shot west of Plains, GA, has some vacancies.

'I'm Freezing' if it matters...

Pansies planted in Atlanta-area flowerbeds get more concern than people it seems. Pansies are my favorite flower, and seeing the Peach State's profusion of hearty pansies in November makes me smile.

Flowers and plants have been highlighted in recent weather report freeze warnings in this southern metro area. Bring 'em in, cover them or you'll be sorry.

My reaction, not surprisingly, is 'what about the people??!' who live outside or are forced to spend a great deal of time in the cold waiting for a nighttime shelter to open.

I gave a couple presentations in Saratoga Springs, NY this week for National Hunger and Homelessness week, strategically slotted for the week before the oft'-gluttonous Thanksgiving holiday. This NY resort community has a mixture of the very wealthy and the very homeless. Some still linger in between.

The learning curve is steep, but a handful of dedicated and compassionate leaders are trying to make a difference. When you have school district homeless education liaisons teaming up with college professors, good things can happen. Toss in some motivated, enlightened kids, like the group(see pix) from Captain Youth & Family Services program, and results are all but guaranteed.

They need all the help they can get in this horse-centered community. If you're a race horse, you get a nice place to sleep. If you're a family in need of shelter you'd be out of luck.

Saratoga Springs is one of the many places across the nation where homeless men and women can find a place to sleep and perhaps get some help, but families, nah. The local safety net consists of putting families in motels for a limited period--typically a few nights to a week. You can bet that they don't get a spot in any of the luxury extended-stay motels.

When a concerned audience member approached me after my talk asking me about my reaction to putting families in motels I welcomed the chance to explain. After listing the standard concerns:

• drug trafficking,
  
• prostitution,
• sex offenders,
• little way to store food or prepare meals,
• no privacy/space
• cost
  

I asked him to think back on the last time he stayed in a motel with his family. How long did it take until staying the cramped living space got on his nerves? Toss in a heavy dose of stress--losing one's housing, financial woes, no hope--and the thought of being stuck in a money-sucking motel. He had the look of someone whose heart and brain were beginning to make a connection.

It seems to me that communities lacking shelters should hold a homelessness awareness experience for their local government leaders, especially those in charge of social services. Set them and their families up for a week in a local 'no-tell-motel' and make them promise to stick it out, not using their financial resources or personal networks to ease the discomfort. I bet my lunch money that you'd see some significant progress in making sure a real safety net gets woven real fast.

HEAR US! Stay with us!

Imagine, if you can, staying with your 4 kids here in a 12'x12' motel room for more than 5 minutes....

I received one of those dreaded voicemail messages from someone who had seen the impressive coverage on homeless families in the Aurora Beacon News this past Sunday. This mom with 4 children staying in a DuPage County motel needed help.

My years of answering phones at homeless shelters never prepared me for calls like this. I knew I couldn't shy away from the call, ignoring the reality that someone was desperate enough to call me to ask for help. I also know that the person could be a scammer, hoping to get money or other resources, gasp!, to use for drugs or alcohol.

When I called the woman I knew at least some of the story to be true right away. I was familiar with the motel she and her children were staying at--a teensy, seedy place dropped in the middle of nowhere between DuPage and Kane counties. I've been there and seen what passes for "affordable housing" according to HUD.

For whatever reason, this mom had been asked to leave the suburban shelter they stayed at for the past 11 months, according to her. She just got a job with a cleaning service and worried about having enough money for gas while paying for the room. This place is so tiny that it doesn't have a web presence. My best guess is rooms are probably about $40 a night, the cheapest place around, which makes it a great place for unsavory characters to stay, something I didn't mention to the mom.

Her immediate worries/needs: gas for her car so she can go to work, money to cover the motel room. Food would also be essential, and the logistics of getting it, storing it, preparing it, and serving it would challenge the most capable among us.

My first thing I stress when speaking to someone in this desperate situation is to disclaim my ability to work miracles. When she shared her story I looked up the number for DuPage Human Services and gave that to her. I explained that she may not get help and to call me back if she didn't and I'd pick my brain for the next level of possibilities, a much slimmer list.
This family wouldn't be considered homeless by HUD's definition. No, they're just vacationing on the outskirts of West Chicago in a dumpy motel room far from anything, even McD's. Instead of a swimming pool they have a parking lot puddle. Their front yard is a fairly busy highway. Their meals come via good luck and culinary ingenuity under the most primitive conditions. Their entertainment is watching drug addicts, prostitutes, and sex offenders come and go in the parking lot.
Seems to me King Phil, the nation's homelessness czar, should stop by this motel and and explain to this family why they are not so bad off, at least why they wouldn't be counted as homeless. I'd even pay for his room.

RECOMMENDED ACTION if this story appalls you: Call or fax Congress. All the info you need is available here. It will take a moment. This issue of who is/is not homeless will be decided upon this week. Your action will make the world of difference to families like this who are not vacationing but staying in seedy motels because homeless shelters are not available and better housing options are zilch.

Explain It to Me Like I'm a 4-Year-Old

What would you say to this child if she asked you why she didn't have a home?

She doesn't. Her family is in a shelter--they're "lucky" compared to the countless kids who have a lot tougher surroundings. A conservative estimate is that over 1.5 million kids are homeless in this country.

Family homelessness is getting the short end of the stick from the federal--and probably lots of states--government. For starters, the feds don't recognize the realities of homelessness that most families experience--they're doubled-up, insecurely housed, or precariously staying in motels.

"We don't want to open a floodgate," is the classic Beltway response from those protecting the federal definition of homeless.

OPEN THE FLOODGATE???!!! is my flabbergasted reply.

Of course, this is the same government that has managed to evade any responsibility for the floodgates that opened in New Orleans. I shouldn't think that government and responsibility go hand-in-hand except when the government is laying down the responsibility law to impoverished parents.

As the U.S. economy crumbles--at least for some--it's the families who will find their resources dried up. When that happens, it's a short hop to homelessness. And homeless families rarely have it good. It's a lot easier to get into homelessness than to get out of it.

This little girl is at least in a shelter with her family, being assisted by structured programs and caring staff. We'd like to believe that all cute little kids have the same. But, truth be told, most kids without homes are not in shelters. Many communities have no shelters or their shelters are full.

So, when are we going to get this message across in a way that someone with clout will start to do something about it? Who is going to push this issue--one that holds the well-being of kids like this little girl as central? When are the presidential candidates going to even mention the term "homeless families" in their laundry list of ailments in this land of plenty?

Seems to me that we should paste this picture up on our mirrors and be painfully reminded that this nation, under God, doesn't seem to care what happens to 4-year-old girls, or any poor children and their families....and then take a breath, and realize that each of us has a responsibility to do something about it. Then DO IT!

Clock is Ticking

"We have till Monday (12/10)," said the dad of the family in a Reno motel. He, his wife and their 6 kids, ages 16 to 3 months, lost their house of 5 years when the landlord didn't do essential repairs and the city inspected, slapping "CONDEMNED" stickers all over the house. They had from 10 a.m. until 4 p.m. that day to vacate.

Critics can stand down--the family is a good family--mom works, dad works when construction work is available, and provides a sweet level of child care when his wife works.

They've looked at over 30 possible rental sites, but nothing has panned out. Needing 2 motel rooms to accomodate the size of the family costs over $400 a week. So far agencies have helped. After 2 weeks, that assistance is poised to end. What little income/savings this family has will make this unaffordable in a short time. Then what?

This is when the affordable housing arguement becomes reality. According to the National Low Income Housing Coalition, Reno's got some affordable housing issues. I'd also suspect that a family with 6 kids runs into some veiled discrimination.

So, as the sounds of Christmas spill forth from casinos and shopping malls, this family is counting down to disaster. They're in a motel. HUD doesn't consider them homeless.

They've been evicted from a condemned house. They can't find another place to live. They don't have enough money to stay in this motel for much longer. They don't have family or friends that can take them in.

Seems to me that HUD officials should walk in their shoes or live under their roof. We'd probably have a different definition of homelessness by Christmas.

Good Cops, Bad Cops

Reno cops did a good thing and a bad thing yesterday. They gave 2 little boys brand-new cool bikes and helmets. The bad thing is that these boys and their 4 siblings and mom and dad are without a home and living in what would be understated to say cramped quarters in a little motel.

So these boys have cool bikes and no place to ride them, or no place to put them. Dad is going to put the bikes in storage, so these 2 boys may someday get to ride their bikes, but this, I'm afraid, won't happen soon enough.

The family fears having to live in this motel room for long--and after visiting with them yesterday I'd fear that too because you'd go crazy trying to cope with 6 kids...

• keeping kids under control to not disturb other motel guests,
• ensuring their kids are safe while around the motel area,
• working (yes, both parents work),
• knowing that chances of finding another place are slim-to-none,
• guiding their kids in coping with this dysfunctional situation,
• assembling enough money to get another place to live,
• feeding the kids,
• making sure homework gets done, and
• making sure they get to school.

And that's just the top of the list. The family was evicted because the house was condemned. The landlord allegedly didn't make needed repairs to make the house habitable. He also allegedly bought a brand new luxury car for $65k.

And sad things in Reno for families--they have no shelter for families. They have a men's shelter to address the government's chronic homelessness push--taking highly visible homeless adults and dealing with their homelessness.

But the invisible homeless families? Too bad for them....

You can't have your bike and ride it too.

DDN